The Grand Tour

Moving from 100 Colgate St

Dad- Here are a selection of images with my comments.

This is the window through which we'll move the boxes. There's nothing below it except the baseboard heater and that phone line jack to the right, neither of which should present a problem.

Here is a view of the sill. I've put a 2x4 in there to show you how we can protect the 1" high plastic wall. However, there is nothing to keep that 2x4 in place. We need a solution for this. Perhaps we can place a heavy blanket or similar over the entire sill and slide boxes over that. Did you keep the rubber floor mats from the VW?

This is the floor of the fire escape. There's some surface rust, but everything seems structurally sound. There is 38" x 52" of usable space. The largest box I have is 20" x 20", so there will be enough room for one of us to stand out here and position the box on the platform.

This is the vertical post to which we will affix the pole. While it would be ideal to nestle the pole into the channel of this angle iron, the railing at the top of this post prevents perfect alignment.

This is a second look at the post.


This is an elevated look at the top of the post.

This is a close up of the foot of the post. The angle iron down here is 2 1/2" wide. In contrast, the railing that bolts to the top of the post is only 1 1/2" wide.


This is a view looking down on the sidewalk. The guy at the bottom will need to pull the platform away from the basement entrance and trash can house to the right as the platform descends. Note also the power line in the left side of the shot: It is the black line that is not part of the sidewalk channel grid. It shouldn't be difficult to avoid this.

I see two issues still to resolve: 1. I need to find a way to keep both the upper and lower sashes as close the ceiling as possible so we have as much room to work as possible. 2. It seems that the pole will have to lean back slightly to accommodate the top railing. This isn't a problem per se, but it isn't ideal. We'll need to affix or otherwise lash the pole to the post very securely, because it will want to wiggle out of position as we place weight on the pulley at the top.

One more thing: We need to keep the box located on the platform as we lower it. If you can screw eyes near opposing edges of the platform, we can use a couple of bungee cords to meet this need.

The heaviest box I have is probably around 70 pounds, but I'd like to use this system to get the piano down as well, which weighs around 100 pounds. My bookcases will likely have to go down the stairs, as will the couch, mattress, coffee table, and box spring.

Let me know your thoughts. Talk to you soon!

Jersey City on Christmas Day

My daily walk to the train looks a little different on Christmas morning.

Good Television

I've become so cynical about television that I consider "good television" to be as likely as penguins that are grown and packed in Exeter, California.

But good television still exists, or at least it did: I've commented how much I like Arrested Development, but it was my memory of a surprise ending on one episode of Major Dad, an otherwise mediocre show with an occasional hint of emotional relevance, that keeps my cynicism at bay. I was happy to discover it again on the wonder that is Hulu.

It Wouldn't Be Christmas Without a Dick Joke

The guy who sent me this card also turned me onto Arrested Development, a show so funny I gave it to people on DVD for Christmas.

Abandoning Disbelief, or Why We're Here.

There's few things we at Skyrocket Penguin find more entertaining than utter ridiculousness presented with an unqualified expectation on the part of the presenter that we, the audience, take it seriously (see High Five, below, for a perfect example).

Our fondness for all things quixotic is what borne the blog: Penguins might skyrocket when our backs are turned, just as windmills might be giants. If you just ignore your disbelief (if you're only suspending it, try a little harder) either is possible.

This enthusiasm of ours may have been planted in our minds by this music video for You Can Call Me Al when we were the most impressionable of youths. The guy on the left is Paul Simon, the song's writer and singer. I don't know the guy on the right, but I think he once took a European vacation.




It's the nuances that make us laugh hardest: Keep your eye on the glass of water, then the piccolo.

Memo to Mary Kay

MEMORANDUM

To: Mary Kay, Mary Kay Incorporated

From: Sent Jointly by The Employees of the Cadillac Brand, General Motors; The Cadillac Owners Club of America; Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson; Tim Gunn, Liz Claiborne Inc.; The American Civil Liberties Union; The American Family Association; The Beach Boys; The United States Coalition of Gas Station Franchise Owners; Wayne Newton; The United States Conference of Mayors; Mary E. Peters, Secretary, the U.S. Department of Transportation; The United States House of Representatives; The United States Senate; The Office of the President of the United States of America

Re: Hurting America

Mary Kay:

With few exceptions, pink Cadillacs ceased being appropriate forms of transportation in 1959, and as your salespeople are neither Elvis Presley nor Wayne Newton, we strongly encourage you to revise your company car policy.

Cadillacs are available in a variety of colors that will both avoid defiling the highways, byways, and thoroughfares of our great nation and allow your salespeople to do their jobs with their dignity intact.

It is both in your best interest and ours to discontinue polluting our culture. We ask that you please take action in this matter so we do not have to.

Signed,
The Employees of the Cadillac Brand, General Motors; et al

Boss Lady

Spotted Friday outside my office:



Without a V8? I don't think so.

For crap's sake, this is the base model. At least spring for the bigger V6.

Get Thee to JC: Another Man's Treasure

We have been saying how much we like Jersey City (JC) for a while now, so we figure it's time to get a little more specific.

We at Skyrocket Penguin are not adventurous dressers. Tim Gunn would admire our restraint (no midriff) but disapprove of our Rumsfeld-in-retirement attire.


So we occasionally visit Another Man's Treasure. You ever find a Fort Knox Softball League T-shirt at a Salvation Army store that you now can't stop wearing? Ever go to a flea market and find a coat that fit like nothing made today because it was made 40 years ago? Another Man's Treasure collects all those and sells them in one place. Specifically, one block away from the Grove Street PATH stop.

We bought an "I ♥ JC" shirt that doesn't even resemble something that would fit us. We're saving it for the next generation.

I'll Never High Five the Same Way Again

Why? Here's why:



Don't hold back: Watch it again. And the sequel:



I hear that song from the first video at my gym all the time and wonder what in the hell it's trying to convey. These guys know.

Magic Hour in JC

One of the many things I’ve learned from the movie Old School is "magic hour." In the words of director Adam McKay:

“Magic hour is that time between afternoon and night and it’s sort of optimal shooting time…” Between sunset and nightfall, light reflects off the darkening and colorful sky, so everything is briefly lit much differently than at any other time of the day. Shadows are longer and the light is softer and gives everything a different hue. When people talk about the “long evenings” during summer, they’re probably referring to the longer magic “hour” at that time of year.

No matter where you are, magic hour does its trick, even in Jersey City neighborhoods.

These pipes are about 40 feet long, and will be driven into the ground with a steam-powered pile driver until only about 6 feet remain above ground.


This is actually a pristine shot of Bam Bam, a neighborhood dog. Puppies just lack focus.

Streetlights make for interesting lighting, too.

Skyrocket Penguin's April Fool's Day Public Service Announcement

The celebration of April Fool's Day does genuine fools a gross disservice each year by irresponsibly elevating regular Joes to that higher, unearned station. A man with a handful of dog poo from the underside of his car door handle does not a nincompoop make. What's next, "President's Day"? The situation is appalling.

Skyrocket Penguin would like to take a moment to point out a few genuine articles that deserve our attention this April 1st.


1. FIA president and billionaire Max Mosley paid five hookers to dress up as Nazi concentration camp guards and their prisoners. They took turns flogging each other (Mosley bled) as well as more typical acts. The entire encounter was captured on a five and one-half hour tape, clips of which are now on the internet. A British tabloid is in possession of the complete tape.

I love that I can describe this situation with no snark (or even adjectives) and it still makes me chuckle. If comedy were food, this and the Jon Edwards hair care seminar could sustain me until Seinfeld returns.

2. Creamer, for choosing this particular shade for their trucks:

That isn't a Ford standard color, so Creamer likely had to pay extra for it. Seen today in JC.

3. The person who designed this:

...and the person who drives it, who isn't paid enough. Also seen today in JC.

A Ray-Finned Fish Known for Its Fearsome Appearance

Anyone who's seen an episode of the old Batman TV show knows that onomatopoeia is.

I wonder if there is a term to describe a word the sound of which is especially descriptive of that word's tenor, tone, or connotation.

Like barracuda.

Max Mosley, Champion

Max Mosley doesn't screw around. He knows that if you're going to do something, you do it to the extreme.

You really have to admire the severity of the guy's conviction. Mosley saw McGreevey and Spitzer and said, "children." There can be only one at the top, one irrefutable champion, and now everyone knows: It's Max Mosley.

Awesomeness... too severe... cannot type.... at normal rate

I'm proud of Jersey City not despite of its shortcomings but because of them – some, anyway. I don't like the attitude that leads to the litter on the downtown strip, but it gives the city a more complete character: Yeah, we've got our problems, but who doesn't? You go into Hoboken and it's like Disneyland, only more expensive. Ironically, these annoyances make JC feel more welcoming because you don't have to go far to reach "the real" Jersey City. When you take in our rough edges and the extremely disparate neighborhoods, classes, and art throughout the city, you realize you've got one of the most interesting places in the country.

JC has a lot more rust than this Beetle, but they both have a lot of personality (and JC moves a little faster). Although the farting catback exhausts on the first-gen Altimas around here let you know you're in JC, the guys driving them could learn something from this Bug.












The owner of Der Hooplevagen may be trying to make his own, more modest version of Coop's 1929 Tudor Sedan.